Wednesday September 17
1:47pm
Making a dent in the movies list. Watched 3 or 4 the past few days.
Saturday September 13
8:23pm
A day of solitude, only to take comfort in socializing with strangers.
I captured the opportunity to flirt with the man standing ahead of me. He would never be the ectomorph man of my dreams, but I figured I could induldge him.
He took an interest in my many visits to this event. I asked if he was looking for anything in particular -- comics and magazines. So he could trace them and learn to draw.
Interesting
His dream to tell a woman that he will draw her, but he is not quite there yet.
"You could ask for a picture of her you can trace"
A quip to shut it down.
"What are your hobbies"
I realized he was flirting with me.
"I like to write"
I couldn't go on. Can't have an endomorph intersted in me.
I picked up three dictionaries and a thesaurus. As reference, for any and all writing.
I spent 15 minutes on one text. Was not satisfied with it. I cannot express my desires on a phone.
8:23pm
A day of solitude, only to take comfort in socializing with strangers.
I captured the opportunity to flirt with the man standing ahead of me. He would never be the ectomorph man of my dreams, but I figured I could induldge him.
He took an interest in my many visits to this event. I asked if he was looking for anything in particular -- comics and magazines. So he could trace them and learn to draw.
Interesting
His dream to tell a woman that he will draw her, but he is not quite there yet.
"You could ask for a picture of her you can trace"
A quip to shut it down.
"What are your hobbies"
I realized he was flirting with me.
"I like to write"
I couldn't go on. Can't have an endomorph intersted in me.
I picked up three dictionaries and a thesaurus. As reference, for any and all writing.
I spent 15 minutes on one text. Was not satisfied with it. I cannot express my desires on a phone.
Friday September 12
10:44pm
"...people never change their lives, that in any case one life is as good as another."
Reading Camus aloud with a French accent (alone, of course). Finsished the Stranger in one day.
The most misread loathsome man I know loves Woolf, as do I, and it doesn't make sense.
Woolf is like reading a dream. The reader adopts the perspective and worldview of one character, only to find, from another's perspective, that what they've adopted is flawed.
I don't think this man has ever had a dream.
Looking at my past gives me a terrible feeling about love, but I can't seem to shake all hope.
I just want to write something nice about love for once (I need to write about something postive soon)
Can't recall where I was going with that thought, started watching this.
10:44pm
"...people never change their lives, that in any case one life is as good as another."
-Monsieur Antichrist
Reading Camus aloud with a French accent (alone, of course). Finsished the Stranger in one day.
The most misread loathsome man I know loves Woolf, as do I, and it doesn't make sense.
Woolf is like reading a dream. The reader adopts the perspective and worldview of one character, only to find, from another's perspective, that what they've adopted is flawed.
I don't think this man has ever had a dream.
Looking at my past gives me a terrible feeling about love, but I can't seem to shake all hope.
I just want to write something nice about love for once (I need to write about something postive soon)
Can't recall where I was going with that thought, started watching this.
Thursday September 11
6:22pm
I wrapped my hair, slick with goo, in the $25 100% silk scarf I picked up at consignment shop in Princeton last March.
Its a beautiful blue, white, and black geometric pattern -- I wish I could describe it better, but I don't know much about it.
I wish I wore it more, but I don't, and I don't think I ever will. Its about time I upgrade to a silk hair goo wrap anyways.
Having hair is weird. Being vain is weird.
I made silly hairstyles in the mirror when applying the goo.
After stripping my life bare of excess, I am mending the emptiness with only enjoyments. Slowly, this is context.
I like taking care of myself and looking cute, validated by others, but I hate that they can tell, because I can't tell.
Everything I do makes me happy, I wish I could do everything everyday.
I've been letting time pass me by, worrying about whats to come and what has been.
But I fear trying to pass time is what got me here.
6:22pm
I wrapped my hair, slick with goo, in the $25 100% silk scarf I picked up at consignment shop in Princeton last March.
Its a beautiful blue, white, and black geometric pattern -- I wish I could describe it better, but I don't know much about it.
I wish I wore it more, but I don't, and I don't think I ever will. Its about time I upgrade to a silk hair goo wrap anyways.
Having hair is weird. Being vain is weird.
I made silly hairstyles in the mirror when applying the goo.
After stripping my life bare of excess, I am mending the emptiness with only enjoyments. Slowly, this is context.
I like taking care of myself and looking cute, validated by others, but I hate that they can tell, because I can't tell.
Everything I do makes me happy, I wish I could do everything everyday.
I've been letting time pass me by, worrying about whats to come and what has been.
But I fear trying to pass time is what got me here.
Wednesday September 10
Acting suspicious on Internet Archive because I hate the username I chose.
I have a maladaptive ambition to digitize all my collections, but I think this will do for now.
Only adding CDs as I change them out of player. (Included the manual for that too)
Should I add audio, image, or both file types?
I might just make two different lists, or maybe a list isn't the organizational system.
I could go to Discogs, but my collections are a variety of formats, and I would like them all in one place.
Acting suspicious on Internet Archive because I hate the username I chose.
I have a maladaptive ambition to digitize all my collections, but I think this will do for now.
Only adding CDs as I change them out of player. (Included the manual for that too)
Should I add audio, image, or both file types?
I might just make two different lists, or maybe a list isn't the organizational system.
I could go to Discogs, but my collections are a variety of formats, and I would like them all in one place.
Tuesday September 9
Regaining whatever it was I lost last night. Faithfully me, but others shouldn't see.
Regaining whatever it was I lost last night. Faithfully me, but others shouldn't see.
Monday September 8
Without, without, without. Want clouds has.
Restrain, restrain, restain. Your wants remain.
A few drink in and the want appears. Across the bar, I stare.
A few more, the drafts sent.
I've read three Woolf books since you left. Will you love me again?
"hi"
--null--
"i want to crawl into you and die*"
--that is a sweet thing to say--
*09/10 - I meanedered around town while this thought roamed through my mind. I should have let wander a bit more.
It's promising that I can hold a thought and hammer away at it for a couple days, at least. (this post confirming the need to add more days)
If I had given it a couple more days, I would have dropped the "and die" part. (can't remember exactly what "part" of the sentence it is. Some type of verb in the verb phrase)
"I want to crawl into you" is good enough for now. I will keep expanding on it.
Without, without, without. Want clouds has.
Restrain, restrain, restain. Your wants remain.
A few drink in and the want appears. Across the bar, I stare.
A few more, the drafts sent.
I've read three Woolf books since you left. Will you love me again?
"hi"
--null--
"i want to crawl into you and die*"
--that is a sweet thing to say--
*09/10 - I meanedered around town while this thought roamed through my mind. I should have let wander a bit more.
It's promising that I can hold a thought and hammer away at it for a couple days, at least. (this post confirming the need to add more days)
If I had given it a couple more days, I would have dropped the "and die" part. (can't remember exactly what "part" of the sentence it is. Some type of verb in the verb phrase)
"I want to crawl into you" is good enough for now. I will keep expanding on it.
Sunday September 7
Disheveling the CSS. Instilling chaos when I ought to be rectifying outstanding errors.
The results of a site from unbridled motivations.
Musing on love as a facade. Hoping to pervert this trusim a bit before prattling on. Such a strong desire to jump, but the restraint is beyond sway.
Maybe my words would sounds better with music.
Got the synth out today.
Disheveling the CSS. Instilling chaos when I ought to be rectifying outstanding errors.
The results of a site from unbridled motivations.
Musing on love as a facade. Hoping to pervert this trusim a bit before prattling on. Such a strong desire to jump, but the restraint is beyond sway.
Maybe my words would sounds better with music.
Got the synth out today.
Tuesday September 2
7:58pm
Back in Baltimore
7:58pm
Back in Baltimore