4:02pm

Planning goals for next year.

8:19pm

Anxiously awaiting my return home. Although he comes and goes as he please, I don't seem to mind. I've never cared to know why. Sometimes knowing has no advantages. In the begining, it took time to recognize and accept the way things will be. It's worked out quite nicely. Nearly all our communcations are in person. Maybe I should try out unrequited love. Pining is amusing..for now.

Tallied up monthly posts to get an idea of what to expect next year.

Here's the data:

I bet October goes crazy. Thankfully those are no longer public. But I will still comment on them when the time comes.

kinda love Groucho Max now... But I cannot stand his nasty gravely voice.

Downloaded the game here!

Haven't played a videogame in some time.

8:47am

Rare early morning posting. Woke up to find that it did not auto-deploy. Going to hold off on fixin it right now. I'm tired of GitHub.

What I watched last night:
• ☆George and John discuss meditation with John Frost
• Goerge and John discuss meditation with audience
• ☆ Groucho Marx on Dick Cavett
• Altman, Brooks, Bogdonovich, and Capra on Dick Cavett

☆ denotes highly recommended and all that I am going to talk about the next few days.^{watch and discuss with me plz}

2:41pm

Got back from a walk. Went over to the library main branch. Got some books on webdesign and cybernetics.

Links to WorldCat records for the curious:

^{APA ubber alles}

A preference, not pulling out the phone when you have no knowledge of the subject at hand. This only entertains conversations you wish to avoid. No need to discuss something you don't know. And reading AI swill, thinking you are adding something to the discussion, is even more upsetting.

Quotes I like from the Writing Web book:

^{^^^this one is me, but I am keeping my readers in mind! Promise, this is what you want to spend your time reading ♥}

1:15am

Yeah I stayed up too late, but I am staying up to fall asleep to to this

I ♥ Dick Cavett.

Discovering my love for poptarts is my whatever-life-crisis.

10:32am

Spent much of my time at the bar scrolling through the items I've saved from the web. A good reminder of the interests I wanted to persue at some point. Trying to figure out how to get these files on to my desktop. Some are full texts on my phone that I would like to read.

I reread "Lonliness" from Winesburg, Ohio last night while out. That was a nice treat. I'd like to reread that entire book. I gave my copy to the man who loaned Secret Rendezvous to me.

I think it's a Pink Floyd and T. Rex kind of day.

I want to share my git repo so you can see the backend insanity, but it would dox me...kind of. Maybe I'll create a new account or stop caring about doxxing.

I also want to reread Of Human Bondage. Certain that the book reeks of cigarette smoke. I smoked and read quite a bit and I do miss it. I could make it a seasonal thing, or just smoke more weed.

It's no good crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it.

-W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage

Scheduled daily updates at 00:00.

please work

please work

woooooooooork

pleaseee

^^^testing Github/Neocities integration^^^

No more pushes today. Still have more to write, but you gotta wait til midnight to read it.

8:10pm

AM/PM system kinda cringe

I want to get into more early psych rock. It helped me "get" Pink Flyod....somewhat. The Piper at the Gates of Dawn is a bop for getting dressed.

Now I am curious about "psych rock concert" dances. Or like, people dancing to early Van Morrison. Idk what he's about. Sometime I poke around the web in search of Van Morrison tid-bits, but always end up at this video.

He's curiously revolting to me. So I'd like to get to the bottom as to "why." I think he's a freak or something. I don't want to dig too deep. Just enjoy the video.

More on Van Morrison to come

I just think he sounds like an idiot in the post song interview. But I like his voice.

It's complicated.

Is he on drugs???

If so, which.

Oh he wears rhinestones

I want to share the photos I took on my evening walk. And talk about layering clothes. But I just want to watch Dick Cavett now.

Cleanse my pallet of all this Van Morrison o.O

The Beatles aren't musicians, the are comedians...Let that sink in

Imagine a world where Paul and Ringo died, and George and John lived on.These guys are nutty. ♥

10:12pm

Staying in and watching Dick Cavett

1:26pm

Finished redesigning page layouts. Doesn't look much different, and still needs some tweaks (gallery pages), but it's good enough to push. It should make future designing simpler.

2:25pm

I need to spellcheck this whole site. Once my hands warm up more.

I have lots to write about now, but I worry my keyboard gets annoying to listen to. So I try to keep typing to a minimum when people are around.

A cold walk gets the ideas flowing. And this time I didn't forget! I've learned I forget if I can't write it down in time. Lost many A+ ideas that way. But not this time!

As my thoughts progessed and became more complex, I repeated a one word descriptor for each thought: "clouds, music, art, pederast." I know. I'll expand on it tonight. Hopefully these words are enough to keep the idea alive. Probably aren't. I'll move to pen and paper.

the figcaption tag makes me think about figs.

10:32pm

I should push this code. I should do more debugging before I push. I should secdule automatic pushes. I don't know if I am using the correct jargon.

Never got around to spellchecking. Maybe there is a prize if you find them all.

The bar was boring after Bruce left. I appreciate his company. I would have been real bored, or left earlier. I like hearing his stories. I wish I could preserve them. He has lived a very beautiful life. I try to capture his perceptions, and his digressions are wonderful.

All that to say, I did a lot of writing. I approached the edge of the "texting some guy" cliff, but didn't jump. Bus arrived before I could make a decision. Thanks bus, i am glad I came home.

Stretch and study was the plan, but I am exhausted. I walked a lot today. I need to get to bed earlier, but I get so wrapped up in something...like this site. Exactly what I am doing now.

I expanded on the "clouds music art pederast" thing in a journal, and I do not feel like typing it. Maybe I will post photos of the entry. You can check out my handwriting.

I think that second drink I had is hitting me hard. Bartender was practicing a new cocktail. Eggnog flavor. It was a large drink wwith very little eggnog and a lot of liquor. Gonna pass out now.

11:38pm

Spent 9 hours working the site. If you're reading this, then it should look good. Hopefully you didn't access this log via direct URL. You saw a mess.

Haven't been in the mood to log. I've been mulling over the feeling I get when men think I am 25. A bit foul when they are 10 years older than you and you've been intimate before he knew your age. This guy believed I was 20 years younger than him and still persued. Maybe it was innocent, or an attempt to flatter. Makes my skin crawl. I try not to think that uncovering my true age would repel. Bullet dodged if it does.

Genetics are on my side, and I feel I dress young for my age. I have a particular style I like, and that happens to include vintage My Little Pony and Sesame Street shirts.

Rearranged my "room." I should really stop describing it as "sleeping on my friend's office floor." I should snap a photo of my space. I am failing to describe it in a way that doesn't garner puzzled looks. Probably adds to the issue of people thinking I am in my 20s.

11:50am

Resisting the urge to redesign using pre-made templates. They are attractive, but it's nice to say that I made this completely from scratch.

Still working on gallery pages. My b&w film photography is pretty bad. Collages are a little nicer. Someone called this site "art." So I am doing something right.

I want a Diet Coke

Made ramen yesterday. Looks like this ramen I made a few years ago for NYE:

This main div is too tiny, but I am not ready to resize everything...again ;-;

I stopped taking stimmies last week. Although I shouldn't be, I am surprised by the improvement in my physical health. Mental is...alright. Difficult to mustard the initial push to get started on a task.

Photography and collage pages are "up." Just thumbnails at this point, but it's something new to look at. Navigate to the pages via the gallery page.

Watched the mystery blank VHS tape a friend gave to me. The only thing of any interest was the 1994 toy commercials

And now I want to add Fairy Winkles to my toy collection. ♥They are so cute!♥

I think I am past due for a heart spilling post. Maybe after my walk today. If not, then surely tomorrow.

1:35pm

Listening to Refused.

Brainstorming ideas for an encrypted page. I'll have to put most of my other projects on hold if I go with the idea I like atm. I'll have to do research and playtesting.

3:16pm

Got a Diet Coke and blueberry Poptarts ☺

9:01pm

Need to stop pushing updates multiple times a day. I need to wait til the end of the day to push. I get anxious thinking people actually check this.

Collage gallery is done! (click the thumbnails to view larger image.) I had to do some crazy coding to get it to work. I am very proud of it ☺

3:04pm

Reminder: I was wearing milky musk Thursday night. I think I will wear Nirvana tonight.

5:34pm

Been keeping up with this, a bit. Working on some gallery pages. Nearly ready. I'm learning Git so I can specify which updates to push. I don't want to push the gallery pages yet, but want to continue logging.

Killing time til movie night at a friends.

Went out late Thursday. It was amusing. There was a terrible amount of people present for the monument lighting. I set out with hopes of hot cocoa, Carol of the Bells, and a moment of contemplation. That didn't happen because of the aformentioned amount of people.

I saw the fireworks for the first time. Last year was less crowded, and much colder. A brief ideal for me, but the cold was too much and I went home early. The year before, a friend was in town and had an upset tummy. So I kept him company instead.

It was pretty.

I overstayed at the bar. It was nice to see everyone and hand out crocheted snowflakes. A stranger lauded my performance in Rosemary's Baby. My first Mia Farrow compliment ♥ ♥ (I forgot all about html emojis♥)

I obliged two too many drink offers from men. One man got very drunk and began speaking salaciously. Any goodwill that man forged with me has dissolved. Fortunately, the man on my left captured my attention and got me out of there.

Unfortunately, I was quite out of sorts yesterday. Went for a walk and watched The Terminator.

I've killed too much time and may arrive late to the function. I would rather stay in and detail my thoughts on The Terminator, but that shall wait until I return.

9:44pm

Bailed on the movie night. No cheap or safe routes to his place.

Now I can write up those Terminator thoughts...and eat pudding. Also spent like an hour shaving. Let myself go there. And now things are happening when I least expect it. I can raise my expectations a bit now. I'll come to reasonable expectations eventually.

I watched the Kate Bush Christmas Special. Really makes me want to dance. I think the art of dance insists on the self too much. Ask me about it sometime.

Adam Sandler baffles me. He's both improved and worsened my fascination with Snack Pack. I wish I never watched Billy Madison.

This the closest I will get to segue into The Terminator review:

The Terminator review

11:27pm

Watched The Running Man, but didn't finish.

This is me during the holidays. More so with Santas, but also Christmas trees.

1:03pm

Youtube analyzed all your data and created a 2025 recap. You listened to Gaucho by Steely Dan 44 times this year. Probably more since the bartender has dubbed this your theme song and can often be heard throughout the bar. Kate Bush was your most listened to artist. Steely Dan came in second.

I kept my own book and music log for a few months this year. Intending to create a recap without sacrficing my personal data. But I did not keep up with it. Here are the books I read this year (doubt I will finish The Counterfeiters by the end of the year):

• Frankenstein
• Wuthering Heights
• Nightwood
• Mrs. Dalloway
• Equus
• The Fall
• Ficciones
• Cat's Cradle
• Siren's of Titan
• The Woman in the Dunes
• To the Lighthouse
• The Stranger
• Of Human Bondage
• Secret Rendezous

Doesn't feel like much, but there are a few books I began and never finished.

12:00pm

Updating past log code. Glancing at what I wrote. It's a bit embarassing. I was certainly spiraling a couple months. Grateful that I am in a better spot now.

I may let sleeping logs lie.

Site's one year anniversary is coming up. I plan to finish out this year in first person, and start the new year in second person. Perhaps move to third person in the third year. First person is exhausting and cringe. I would like to write as an omnipresent being observing my life. Explore myself and adventures from an external perspective.

Up next is an image gallery

Watched Urban Cowboy. It was fine. I like watching Travolta films just to observe his mannerisms.

Back in Ohio, there is a small vintage shop. It's been around for many years, and I have spent much time there during those years. It's first location was right downtown. In middle school my best friend and I would walk over after school to browse. One day I forgot to meet my little brother outside his first grade room. Among the items in the store were old school posters. I bought a George Harrison one. I also bought a Saturday Night Fever era John Travolta poster. It hung on the wall at the foot of my bed, and then above my bed. He didn't last long up there, but it was entertaining.

My much younger brother had a Grease fascination in preschool. That movie on repeat on repeat in our home.

My intentions were spoiled by the rain. I'll try again tomorrow